Category: humor

You might want to look that one up!

Everyone has a slip of the pen (or word processor) from time to time, and we’ve all seen them. Read enough books and you’ll discover weird or wrong word choices, misspellings, or zany phrases. Some of them are caused by upbringing—because mom and dad always said it that way, so it’s assumed everyone says it that way! Other boo-boos are the result of poor editing, senior moments, or mistakenly choosing a sound-alike word which has a completely different meaning. Here are some noteworthy blunders I’ve found that still make me laugh.

an eradicate heartbeat (erratic)

rot iron fence (wrought)

shutter (shudder)

woken up (awakened)

absents (absence)

champing at the bit (chomping)

try a different tact (tack)

wooden stove (wood stove)

tit bit (tidbit)

slither of information (sliver)

dumbie (dummy)

homely (homey)

cumber bun (cummerbund)

Silicone Valley (Silicon)

latter (ladder)

indigent (indignant)

distress (de-stress)

eatable (edible)

abstracted (distracted)

ascended through the crowds (descended/clouds)

made of led (lead)

boaring (boring)

conceded (conceited)

seizes to amaze me (ceases)

Anything you’d like to add? While I found these funny, they also made me cringe. I don’t want to be guilty of such obvious mistakes, yet I know I’ve made some, and will make more in the future. So just quit trying? Not on your life! Wrangling words into submission, creatively or otherwise, is my job. The goal is continuous improvement, not perfection. Good thing, too, or we’d all have to give up!

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What’s been keeping me busy….

I’ve spent the last seven weeks making repairs to Expectant Moon—book one of my Gladstone Shifters series, published two years ago and in need of some TLC. Yesterday, I uploaded the new edition to Amazon! It was a labor of love (emphasis on labor), but needed to be done. With that out of the way, I’m free to begin writing book four, Forbidden Moon.

This one promises to be a challenge, with a new pot-stirring character no one will be expecting. Jonah’s going to have his hands full with his long-awaited mate, and the pack has some lessons to learn. Hopefully, my readers will appreciate all the effort it takes to throw a monkey wrench into the works after three books! I’ve got some really cool ideas to present, along with humor, drama, and steamy romance. In other words, this will be a fun book to write!

If things go exceptionally well, I hope to publish this one by year’s end. After that, I intend to write another collection of shorts for a sequel to Rise of the Draman. I must admit, in the back of my brain is a niggling fear that those two series will go on and on, leaving me no time to write all the other stories waiting in the wings. If only I could clone myself. Hmmm… even that could be a cool story!

Laughter is the best medicine

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Look, how many times do I need to remind you? Six feet – now back off!

 

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Hold on! You DID wash your hands, right??

 

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It’s scary out there!

 

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What?! I’ve been watching Gilligan’s Island reruns all day!

 

 

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What do you mean, we’re out of toilet paper?

 

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I can’t take any more…

 

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I’m staying right here until this is all over.

 

I know, there’s nothing funny about this epidemic. People are dying, losing their livelihoods, suffering from depression, are stressed to the max, and there’s no clear end in sight. On the other hand, we have a choice to laugh or cry and today I wanted to laugh!

I don’t know your situation, though I hope you are healthy and staying as upbeat as possible while the world goes cattywompus. I’m still working, which is a financial blessing, but I risk exposure every day. I’m very grateful for my writing, as it’s keeping me busy and sidetracked from the news and overall stress. So far, my kids and extended family are all OK.

A lot depends on how long the restrictions are in place and whether or not they come up with a vaccine. Now, there’s talk about one or more resurgences of the virus and that it’s going to be another year or two before things get back to normal. Will they though? Seems to me they never really will, which means we all have to get used whatever the “new normal” looks like. Ah well – one day at a time.

Hugs from me to you!

PS – pick up a copy of my new release if you need something to read!

Mom Stories for Mother’s Day

Weekly Roundup is an update on what’s going on in my world. Welcome!

My mom passed away in 2000, so Mother’s Day is always bittersweet. The best gift she gave me was sense of humor and I miss her knee-slapping, foot stomping laughter more than anything else. A few years after her death, my siblings and I exchanged a series of emails with memories of our mother. Eventually, I collected them all and they became The Mom Stories. The incident below is one of them and happened when I was 15.

AVIANCE AND A BRICK

I was in the laundry room filling the washing machine, and Mom was in the kitchen or family room. The TV was on, and I could hear the commercial for Aviance perfume in the background. If you don’t remember that one, it went like this:

“I’ve been sweet and I’ve been good, I’ve had a whole full day of motherhood, but I’m gonna have an Aviance night.”

Evidently, Mom was in one of her playful moods, because all of a sudden she opened the laundry room door singing “I’m gonna have an Aviance night!”, and then tried to snap me with a rolled up towel. The first couple of tries missed, and she was giggling like a little girl while I tried to jump out of the way. Finally, she landed a vicious snap on my rear end. I hollered, and at first she got a shocked look on her face, covering her mouth with her hand (still smiling of course). I think it surprised her that she actually nailed me, along with some concern that I might be hurt.

Thinking fast, I grabbed a towel from the floor and snapped it in her direction. She took off toward the family room squealing and shouting my name and laughing to beat the band. I was right on her heels snapping away – around the corner, past the little bathroom and down the long hall toward the front door; the same door that was being held open by a needlepoint-covered brick.

Unfortunately for Mom, she either wasn’t watching or simply got too close and rammed her foot, full tilt, into that stupid brick. She yelped in pain and started crying, hobbling far enough to sit down on the bottom step near the door. Well of course I thought she was just messing around, trying to keep me from exacting my revenge. I was laughing at her, and she was yelling at me that it wasn’t funny…until I finally figured out she wasn’t kidding and really did hurt herself. It wasn’t until later on we discovered she had broken her big toe. I think it’s safe to say that when Dad got home, they were not going to have an Aviance night!

Postscript – The offending brick now resides by my front door.

The Brick

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Current project – I am just about finished with the sequel to Dragon Child, entitled Dragon Valley. After a beta reading and final edit, it may appear on my website. I’m still having fun with it, so plan to continue the series for now. I received some great feedback from one of my beta readers who read Dragon Child to her grandkids – they loved it and wanted more!

What about my Gladstone Shifters series? I haven’t forgotten about Forbidden Moon, but it’s on the back burner. Still hoping to get started on it this fall.

Publishing? Well, I need money for that and don’t have it, so I have to focus on writing only instead. Maybe next year’s tax refund will enable me to publish the Dragon stories in one volume. Of course, it’s always possible I will win the lottery or marry a millionaire, so you could see something much sooner!